spouses

Discuss Concealed Carry

spouses

Post Number:#1  Postby 1845 » Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:10 am

How many members have serious disagreements about CC with their wives. When I got my license in 2012 and started IWB carry around the house she was unhappy. Using the "out of sight-out of mind theory' I bought a pocket pistol and have carried it ever since. Yesterday she felt it in my pocket and is freaked. I'm incredulous at her reaction.

We are in our sixties, married 30 some years. She works at a school which I suppose has something to do with it. Right now she says it's either her or the CC.

Anyone else had to deal with this?
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spouses

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Re: spouses

Post Number:#2  Postby PolarisRider » Fri Dec 18, 2015 9:49 am

My girlfriend is the same way. Didn't grow up around guns very much. If she can't see it she normally doesn't have a problem with it. But I don't dare to ask her if I'm printing. I would really like to get her involved in shooting. I'm not saying she has to get her CCL or anything but just to show her that guns aren't evil or that just because i only buy guns with no safeties that they aren't going to go bang in a proper holster.


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Re: spouses

Post Number:#3  Postby asa98j » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:49 pm

My wife is used to it now. She questioned me at first but has accepted it(I think)
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#4  Postby grouchyoldcripple » Fri Dec 18, 2015 4:50 pm

I feel for anyone in this situation. The education establishment and the media have done a very good job of brainwashing a significant part of the population into an irrational fear and hatred of guns. Fortunately I don't have to deal with it personally. My wife only objects when I want to bring more than a handgun when we go out. A short-barreled AR-15 in a backpack is too much for her. My older daughter demands that if I come to her house I have to either wear my "good gun" (custom 1911 .45 with cool grips) or not have one that she can see.

To the OP I would suggest that you need to TALK with your wife. A calm discussion, not an argument. Ask her what her objections are to you being able to defend her. Is she afraid of the gun, or afraid of YOU with the gun? Or both? This can be a VERY difficult subject if she is not willing to discuss her feelings honestly.

Fear of guns is out there and is real for many people. One of my wife's friends came over to visit and literally fainted when she saw me cleaning a shotgun. She hasn't been back since. (No real loss.) But if it is someone you care for, you need to make the effort to explain why you want to be able to protect yourself and protect them as well. And you need to make it non-confrontational and non-threatening. If she is actually willing to end your relationship over this, rather than it just being a bargaining tool, you have my sincere sympathy.

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Re: spouses

Post Number:#5  Postby SidecarMike » Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:28 pm

A friend and I got our permits at the same time. About a year later his wife was told about an acquaintance of hers that ran into a legal problem over a gun. IIRC, a couple stopped at a gas station that had a no guns sign. Husband stuck his under the seat, filled up and went in to pay. While inside, someone ran into the car, witnessed by a police officer. When the officer approached the car, the gun had slipped out from under the seat. Wife was arrested. They were able to beat the charge, but it entailed court cases, missed work, and lawyer fees. She insisted that she and my wife were getting their permits.

When my brother in law found out I had one, he told me another story. He lives in Chanhassen, MN. His neighbor worked 2nd shift. He would stick a small pistol in his pocket at night when he walked his dog before going to bed. One night he was hit by a drunk driver. To add insult to injury, he woke up in the hospital handcuffed to the bed. Brother in law doesn't own a gun, but went and got his permit.

We have friends in law enforcement. Barb sees a gun on the belt as normal as a wrist watch or wallet.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#6  Postby Reality_Czech » Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:10 pm

1845 wrote:How many members have serious disagreements about CC with their wives. When I got my license in 2012 and started IWB carry around the house she was unhappy. Using the "out of sight-out of mind theory' I bought a pocket pistol and have carried it ever since. Yesterday she felt it in my pocket and is freaked. I'm incredulous at her reaction.

We are in our sixties, married 30 some years. She works at a school which I suppose has something to do with it. Right now she says it's either her or the CC.

Anyone else had to deal with this?


I'm sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. My wife has known that I have firearms and would carry one as a daily part of my job since we were dating 23 years ago. She was fine with it or learned to be. I'd be more disturbed by the last part. I'm not real big on ultimatums in a lifelong partnership.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#7  Postby Cheap Shot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 3:39 pm

I am sorry for you, but this has never been a concern for me because I married a country girl. She has always known that guns are just another kind of tool, for use in certain situations.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#8  Postby mimalmo » Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:14 pm

She wasn't crazy about it at first but she's no dummy, she sees the news and even wants to get her own permit now.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#9  Postby 9milbill » Sun Dec 27, 2015 9:23 am

Both my wife and I have CCLs, so there's less of an issue about it to start with. My job's location dictates that I have to drive through the 'hood of Wisconsin's second largest city daily to get to work. (Now that I think about it, what part of that particular city hasn't become "the 'hood"? But that's for another thread...) I carry daily. Wife knows it, has no issue at all.

Her new job will involve driving through a different part of the 'hood. My guess is that she will, before too long, carry daily as well.

Color me fortunate, I guess, that she has both an understanding and appreciation of the situation.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#10  Postby Stormin40 » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:58 am

As Reality_Czech said I think the biggest issue here is the ultimatum. She is stating that she is willing to throw out 30 years of marriage because you choose to carry a gun, and she would argue that you are willing to throw away 30 years of marriage to carry a gun. There are 2 sides to this discussion and her ultimatum doesn't give you a seat at the table.

I would recommend trying to get a discussion going.

My wife isn't crazy about guns and has only been shooting with me on 2 occasions, requested by me as my birthday present. I don't see her ever getting her own permit. When I got my permit she assumed I was only going to carry occasionally, she now knows I carry everywhere possible and has accepted it.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#11  Postby mrmeanor » Thu Jan 14, 2016 2:16 pm

I feel blessed that my wife doesn't feel that way. I remember when ACT 35 was passed, before issuing, she initially freaked out. She imagined the "wild west" shoot outs and guns just laying around. I was able to show her that was the not case in the other states that allowed it. I applied in November 2011 and got mine in December. Within 4 months she sent in and received hers.

Now she'll ask before we leave the house "Do you have your gun?" because we won't leave home without it.
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Re: spouses

Post Number:#12  Postby RobertS » Thu Jan 14, 2016 4:02 pm

PolarisRider wrote:My girlfriend is the same way. Didn't grow up around guns very much. If she can't see it she normally doesn't have a problem with it. But I don't dare to ask her if I'm printing. I would really like to get her involved in shooting. I'm not saying she has to get her CCL or anything but just to show her that guns aren't evil or that just because i only buy guns with no safeties that they aren't going to go bang in a proper holster.


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Have you tried showing her news reports or videos of people being gunned down or murdered. I can show you at least one video of a store clerk who was shot three times by the robber because the till was empty. Since the video faded out, I'm going to assume he died. And then there is the story of Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom.
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